Question 205

It's a slow night.  (We work.  We can't do it ALL the time.)

Time to reach into my bag of tricks and answer another question from The Book of Questions: Love and Sex.  I like things that make me think.  And this one really caught my eye.

Question 205:   What is the most unpleasant sexual experience you can recall?  In what ways do you think this experience has had a positive influence on your life?  a negative influence?

I suppose I'm lucky.  I don't really have a lot of negative sexual experiences.  I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I don't just sleep with anyone.  I'm reasonably selective.  There have been lots of guys that I could have slept with and didn't.

What I discovered early on was that the experiences I regretted were the ones that I didn't really intend to happen.  It wasn't that I would consider these situations to be those akin to date rape.  It's more like I was too shy to say 'no.'  I was too worried about being liked to protest.  And in those situations, the guys didn't really care if I was enjoying myself.

So, I learned to pick my partners better.  I learned to be a better lover so that the men I was with were better lovers as well.  I learned to speak up more.  I learned to say 'no.'  And now, with my man, I've become even more vocal.  I've learned to share what I like and what I want.  It makes a world of difference.


Okay, I fessed up.  Now your turn.

Question 118

This comes from The Book of Questions: Love & Sex by Gregory Stock, ph.d.

I thought I might mix things up and take some inspiration from a book that is supposed to be a conversation started for couples.  Early in my relationship with my ex-husband, I would try to talk with him using this book.  It never really worked.  And so this book sat around collecting dust for many years.  Just the other day, however, I found it and dusted it off.

My man and I can talk about anything.  I think we'll have lots of fun with this book.  And soon.

In the meantime, I'll share these questions and my responses with you so that you can enjoy them, too.  (And maybe you'll want to use them with someone special...)


Now the question:

When and where did you lose your virginity?  Since then, what has been the longest time you have gone without sex?

Well, I was three days from my 17th birthday.  Yeah, I was a bit of a late bloomer by almost anyone's standards.  I was waiting for the right one.  You know?

And this was absolutely perfect.  We rented a cottage by the lake.  We stayed all afternoon going at it.  He had a three pack of condoms and I thought you had to use them all at once.  (I must have been his dream girl.)

After that, the longest I ever went without sex...about a month.  Yes, I went longer without in my relationship with my man than I ever went when I was single or married.  Ah, but not anymore.  We're in a good place.

Now you.  Come on.  You can tell me...