Lesson #4: Safe words

Finally he saw how unhappy I was.  So, my man took one for the team...sort of.  He faked an orgasm and said he was done.

One done, all done.

That was their rule and though they looked incredibly disappointed, they followed it.  And it was over.  I have never dressed so fast or picked up so efficiently in all my life.  That's saying something.

We headed out to the car.  And as we walked he tried to talk to me.

man: Lexi?  Lexi say something.

me: Don't talk to me.

I needed time to collect myself.  I needed time to hash through it all.  And we did.  We talked the whole way home.  And we agreed on some key points.

We were never ever ever going to full swap again.  And he was going to follow through with my main sticking point, making stupid crazy mad passionate love to me at home so that I'd be reassured we were okay.

We stopped at a bar to get a night cap.  And I just wanted to go.  There were only chicks in there.  Chick behind the bar.  Chicks sitting at the bar.

In an effort to acquire our shots, he had to keep leaning over this one chick.  And she was smiling and chatting with him.  And I was completely over any female being near my man.  My jealous nature was in over-drive.  I very nearly lost it.

He pulled me to an out of the way table to sit and talk.

me: Why here?

man: I thought I might be getting yelled at.

I smiled.

me: You thought right.

And I finally was able to calmly explain why I was so very upset.  He never looked at me and told me he loved me.  He was way too into her.  It hurt.

Soon he was holding his head in shame.

man: Lexi, I am so sorry. I forgot.  She was so aggressive.  I just forgot.

me: Just take me home and make me forget.  I'll be fine.

man: Next time...we keep to our rules.  Next time...we have a safe word.

me: Ice cream.  Our safe word...is ice cream.

Lesson #3: Stick to your rules

There's bending the rules and there's breaking the rules.  Oh, but we shattered ours.  And the consequences would be dire.  No doubt.

I am not the quiet, demure, passive type.  When I am wronged or hurt, I let him know.  I have cultivated looks that frighten strangers.  I have a razor sharp tongue and a rapier wit that I wield expertly.  Yes, I can channel my inner bitch when necessary.

And by the time we walked naked to the bedroom, I was already over the experience.  There were moments that were okay.  The husband really knew how to use his hands.  He was way gentler with my clit than my man was.  I had a momentary hope that I might get off.  Momentary.

Soon, my man had the two of us working his throbbing cock.  And he really liked it.  What man wouldn't?  It was one of his dreams.  So glad I could make that come true.  (Please note that was DRIPPING with sarcasm.) 

For a moment, he got that look in his eye, despite how well things were working out for him.  He saw the husband about to hit it from the back and he panicked.

man: You're wearing a condom, right?

(Finally!  A rule we followed!)

husband: Yeah.  We're the safest people you'll ever know.

Small consolation.  Smaller than his dick even.

And soon he was in me and my man had to up the ante so that he wasn't bothered by this other man in me.  Soon the wife was riding him.  And he was fondling her boobs.  And I was so fricken jealous.  That was my position.  That was what I did.  He was supposed to be fondling my boobs.  Instead, I was struggling to straddle this behemoth.  And I wasn't happy.

Within a few minutes, the wife had ripped off the condom and was sucking him off.  She had gotten off multiple times already.  Not surprised.  My man is good.  Dammit.

And it hurt watching someone else make him come.  Really it did.  Especially since I never did during the entire experience.

There was a moment where my man tried to get the husband to do me right.  There was a moment where he took over and did me himself.  The wife and husband played and sucked my boobs while that happened.  And I had an unwelcome cock shoved in my mouth.

Too soon that was over when the husband accused him of hogging me.  Great.  So my man shoved his cock in my mouth and started eating her out while the husband made his tiny thrusts into my vag.  And I was drying out fast.  Frickin latex.  Stupid bad sex.

I could hear my man getting ordered to put on ANOTHER condom and I lost it.  I punched him in the leg, which any other time would signal that he needed to stop.  Oh, but when four people are sharing a queen sized bed, that isn't how the gesture is read.  Dammit.

He did her doggy style.  And for a few minutes I thought so loud and angry in my head that I hated him that I almost thought he'd hear me.  Nope.  Too into the chick.

Another rule broken. 

And there were no 'I love yous.' 

And that broke my heart.

Lesson #2: Never settle

We arrived at the house within four minutes of our predicted time.  And that's rather impressive, given that I was driving and we ended up lost for a minute.  Oh, and there was a wrong turn that ended up being a short cut.  Damn, I'm good.

So, we were greeted at the door.  It never ceases to amaze me that people rarely look like their photos.  They are generally older and heavier.  At least that seems to be the trend.  And the husband was definitely heavier.  I'm talking the man was probably pushing 250lbs and was maybe 5'7".  Lucky me.

I try not to be too critical of weight, since I'm not perfect, but I'm also not obese, either.  In the south, the term is thick.  I am thick.  There.  I said it.

We started with hugs, which made me mildly uncomfortable.  At the same time, these people were going to be seeing us naked soon and much much more.  So hugs...made sense.  And I tamped down my discomfort with seeing my man hug this other woman.  If I couldn't take that, I was really in trouble.

Soon we were drinking and talking about sex.  We discussed our sexual experiences, our sexual preferences, and of course: our rules.  Well, since my biggest rule was that he wouldn't be in another woman, we were already off to a lousy start knowing this was full swap.  Our other rules included that there be no kissing.  I had to draw the intimacy line somewhere.  And my man was in complete vehement agreement.  Also, I didn't want anyone else going down on me.  There's something about opening wide for someone's tongue.  Ummm, no thank you.

After the drinks kicked in, we played Body Bingo.  I love that game.  We brought it, thinking it would make a lovely ice breaker.  It was.  Although soon it was obvious the game was rigged and that people were just doing what they wanted.  Every one of them managed to lick and suck my nipples.  Not so bad.  I knew that watching a woman suck on me was a huge turn on for him.

Not as much of a turn on was me watching her go down on him for several minutes.  Still, I smiled and powered through while she worked his raging hard on.  Oh, and he was hard.

I stuck through giving the husband his turn in my mouth.  He was small.  So very small.  So much smaller than my man.  Dammit.  I was really not making out well in this.

The worse part was coming out of the bathroom to find my man eating her out in the middle of the living room.  He was on his knees and she was straddling his face.  And I just wanted to go right then.

We had talked before we left.  We talked all through the drive.  And he promised me that I would never doubt that I was the most important person in the room.  He promised me that he would mouth 'I love you' all the time.  He was already failing miserably.

He said it out loud

It may have been the alcohol.  No.  It must definitely have been the alcohol.

Somehow, my seriously bashful man put it all out there.  He opened the door and rushed through it, dragging ME a little tentatively behind.  Yup.  That's what he did.

We were hanging out with our best couple friends.  His long time friends.  People who have known him for the better part of close to ten years.  People who love me to death.  People I have only known for the better part of three years.  Highly religious married people.

Have I set the stage well enough, yet?

We're drinking.  We're playing Wii.  And then he looked at me.

man: What do you think about them?

me: What do you mean what do I think?

Only really my eyes grew wide and I knew.  Oh crap.  He was going to ask them.  The wife was bi and the husband loves porn.  In his mind, perfect fit.

me: Let's go talk.

So we went out to our screen porch while there were thankfully oblivious to our discussion.  He was feeling frisky, obviously.  And he was dying to try new things.  Our only concern: ruining the friendship.

Soon we were in the house.  And we were toasting.  And he just blurted it out.

man: So what do you think about same room no swap sex?

And given that they clearly have not explored this lifestyle with the same enthusiasm we had been for the last month or so, they were baffled and justifiably shocked.  It was up to me to do damage control.

me: What he means is...

And so we talked.  And they listened.  And they seem to be in.  Seriously.

With any luck and a good bit of alcohol, we will make our first foray into this new, exciting, and naughty lifestyle.  The guys tried to get us to kiss to seal the deal, but let's face it.  It was all too new.  And I think she was worried about pushing something on me.  And I was worried about seeming too eager.

My man went to bed.  I followed.  They were staying over because we all drank a bit too much.  And then my phone started chiming.  It was them, texting me from the living room.

How's that for a cliffhanger?