me: Is it me? Are you not attracted to me anymore?
man: No. We just have a lot going on right now. Sex isn't on my mind.
man: I've gone as long as six or eight months without sex when I've been going through changes.
I must have looked really alarmed at this point. I remember letting my head hit the door frame as I leaned against it. And I'm pretty sure there was more sighing and my eyes may have even filled with tears.
man: I'm not saying we will go six or eight months.
me: I can't do it. Two weeks is about my limit.
man: I know. You were masturbating last night.
me: What would you like me to do? I can't go that long.
Seriously, I can't. That was about my breaking point. And he loves when I masturbate in front of him, so I suppose I was secretly hoping that it would turn him on, spur him to action. No such luck. In fact, he was annoyed so I had to take it to the living room.
man: It will get better. Give me time to adjust.
I'm giving him time. All I ever do is give him time. It's the story of my life. Being with him has been this amazing practice in patience. And I worry that one of these days I'm going to tire of it and move on. And I suppose I also worry that I won't. I worry that I'll stay longer than I should, that I'll hold on when I should let go.
But I'm here now. And I'm making the best of it...even if I do run out of things to write about.