Saturday, February 5, 2011

The conversation went a little something like this

I know I seem to have fallen off the grid.  But it's damn hard to write about sex when you aren't having any.  Finally, I had to address the glowing neon pink elephant in the room.

me: Is it me?  Are you not attracted to me anymore?

man: No.  We just have a lot going on right now.  Sex isn't on my mind.

me: *sigh*

man: I've gone as long as six or eight months without sex when I've been going through changes.

I must have looked really alarmed at this point.  I remember letting my head hit the door frame as I leaned against it.  And I'm pretty sure there was more sighing and my eyes may have even filled with tears.

man: I'm not saying we will go six or eight months.

me: I can't do it.  Two weeks is about my limit.

man: I know.  You were masturbating last night.

me: What would you like me to do?  I can't go that long.

Seriously, I can't.  That was about my breaking point.  And he loves when I masturbate in front of him, so I suppose I was secretly hoping that it would turn him on, spur him to action.  No such luck.  In fact, he was annoyed so I had to take it to the living room.

man: It will get better.  Give me time to adjust.

I'm giving him time.  All I ever do is give him time.  It's the story of my life.  Being with him has been this amazing practice in patience.  And I worry that one of these days I'm going to tire of it and move on.  And I suppose I also worry that I won't.  I worry that I'll stay longer than I should, that I'll hold on when I should let go.

But I'm here now.  And I'm making the best of it...even if I do run out of things to write about.

1 comment:

  1. Lexi,
    I know what you mean. I also understand your man in some ways...
    This last month has been crazy for me. I've been working long hours, helping a sick Mother and trying to keep my girlfriend from going crazy.
    It seems every time we go out lately, she drinks too much. then she wants to talk, then she starts talking crazy and then, I don't feel like fucking her....
    I told her that I prefer to make love to her when she's "Present" not wasted...
    I think she's finally getting a clue, I told her straight up that if she wants to drink like that, then I'm not going to be around her.
    I never make idle threats either, she knows I mean it.
    The sex with her is great when all of this other stuff isn't going on..
    I hope we can get back to our "normal" lives soon...

    Here's a big Cyber Hug for you, OOOO