Online porn

Porn had become an issue for me because of my ex-husband.  I may have mentioned that he was a lying, cheating bastard?  Well, he was.  I would constantly be dealing with his little crushes, the phone numbers, the phone calls, all of it.  He wasn't very good at being sneaky.  And if that wasn't bad enough, since we often worked opposite schedules, he would spend a ridiculous amount of time engaging in online porn.

Don't get me wrong.  I have nothing against porn when used appropriately.  It can be a wonderful warm up, a great teaching tool.  It can start a discussion and open up new doors in a relationship.

And it can be a lovely alternative to cheating.

If, however, you once had a husband who watched it while having sex with you, and ended up pretty much ignoring you while he rammed into you repeatedly, then you might not be so keen on the porn.

And because of my past, my man knew how I felt about it.  He would tell me he wasn't really into it.  He would tell me that he didn't really like it.  Then I would use our computer and discover otherwise.  Men who are distracted by their erections rarely remember to close the windows that popped up.

We had our fights over it.  It was mostly my contention that I wouldn't be so against the porn if he looked at it while I was at work and then when I returned home he was so fired up to be with me that it enhanced our sex life, but that wasn't the case.  He was looking and we still were doing NOTHING.  Our sex life was at an all time low.  And the tensions were running high.

I left for work one morning after realizing that I hadn't had sex in nearly a month, very unhappy.  We were so distant.  I was so sad.  And that may be why I forgot to pack a breakfast.  Well, there was no way I was going to miss a meal.

When I burst into the house about five minutes after I left, all hell broke loose.  He was in the study.  A chair went flying as he struggled to stand and tuck his erection away.  I walked in and saw the live video porn streaming.

He was angry, but mostly embarrassed that he had been caught.  He told me he thought it was better to do that than to cheat on me.  And he told me he was having trouble being attracted to me anymore, but that he loved me, didn't want to lose me, and wanted a chance for our sex life to improve.  (Obviously, this was all before the threesome was ever mentioned.)

I could have been hurt and angry.  I was a little. Mostly, I decided to use it to my advantage.  Here he was with a raging erection that he needed to do something about.

me: Here's what we're going to do.  I'm going to go turn off my vehicle and we're going to go into the bedroom for a quickie.  You're going to hit it from behind.  You need this.  It's been a month since we've had sex.  I need this.  Let's go.

So that's what we did.  It was good for me just having him in me again.  It was good for him getting his release.  And it opened up a discussion for us.  It meant one less wall between us.  We had to address the porn.