Tuesday, November 23, 2010

When you're not feeling sexy

I have to tell you, there are times that I simply don't feel that sexy.  Times when I don't feel like being sexy.  But still, at no time do I ever say no to getting sexy with my man.

Don't get me wrong.  Over the years he has turned me down plenty.  And that will be his chief excuse.

man: I don't feel sexy right now.

Really?  You have a raging boner and you don't feel sexy.  Okay.  It's morning wood.  I can see where it might simply be the old pee hard on.

And so I let him alone.  I'm nice like that.  And I have learned that forcing the issue doesn't really help anything.  So no forcing the issue--ever.

I think I'm still recovering from our weekend of unbridled passion.  My vag is finally not one aching unit.  And all indications are that he might very well be on his own road to recovery.  At least I hope he recovers soon.

These periods where I'm simply not feeling it are always brief.  I love him.  I lust him.  I long for him.  And while I love that he holds me every night and always has to be touching me, even if it's while we are on the couch watching television, it will never replace the intimacy that we get from sex.

I love that intimacy.  Still, we have to discuss and explore what intimacy we're comfortable sharing with others.  We plan to move forward and try something new over the weekend.  With that in mind, we need to get moving, get searching, and nail down where we stand on everything.

Where do  you draw the line?  What are we comfortable with?

He's still haunted by his dream.  So, I know he's not comfortable involving another man.  He's subtle like that, see.  At the same time, I think we need to explore our dealings with other women.  I'm not ready to see him in another woman.  Call me crazy.  I'm going to have to work up to that.

And so we've been talking about things.  We've been discussing my concerns.  More than anything, I don't want things to change between us.  I still want us to have our special alone time.  I don't want everything to from now on always have to involve someone else.  These are things I think about.

Maybe I'm a little normal.  I can't just jump both feet without considering the consequences and every angle.  I love him.  All of this matters.

Still, I'm intrigued and eager to move forward.  Guess I'm feeling a little sexy. 


  1. Hi Lexi,
    My GF and I talked about getting together with other couples for at least a year. Including getting another woman into our bed... it wasn't until we went to a party and all the blocks fell into place that it happened. We TALKED and TALKED and TALKED.... so far, we're just into ORAL with the others. We haven't gone "ALL THE WAY" yet... but I know it will happen. It just takes time before we are both comfortable with it. I think she has more reservations about it than I do but I have to admit that watching another guy fuck my GF is going to take a lot of mental preparedness. I think the first time it happens, it will have to be with a couple and she'll have to be sucking me while he's doing her... then we can switch and put his woman in the middle and my GF can watch or be involved. We have discovered that it's much easier to be jointly playing than to "SWAP" if I wanted to just swap, I could just go get another girlfriend.. So, we do it together and if either one of us isn't comfortable, we've set up a code word that means that we want to stop and the other HAS to back off and stop. That way, no one feeling uncomfortable and no feelings are hurt.

    Rooting you on in your adventures!

  2. KC,

    As always, I love your encouragement. And I really appreciate the feedback of someone who's traveling the same path we are. So helpful!

    Many thanks. And, I'll let you know how it goes... ;)