Saturday, January 1, 2011
On the road to recovery: we made it
See, one night he had asked me about the bed, why I wanted a new one so badly. He rather liked that bed. Had the conditions been different, I would have, too. Only, I knew he had been with a string of women on that bed before me and after me. We had a couple of breaks over the last nearly three years.
me: I want a bed with less mileage. Only our mileage.
man: It's not that bad.
me: I bet I can name a half dozen women you've screwed in our bed.
man: I bet you can't.
He was right. I didn't name six, I named eight. Eight women, even after he dismissed one citing that they hadn't made it to the bed. They had done it on the floor. Small consolation.
And so I won. Only, did I really win anything being right? I didn't feel better being right. Right about him being a man whore sucked. Right about who's bed bugs I'm sleeping with sucked.
Mostly, I try to forget. I forget for my sanity and for the sake of our relationship. I forget because I want us to have the big future we dream of and plan and imagine.
So, I called him out on having sex without me. My theory was that if he had waited, we could have been together and he could have completed his list.
man: How did you know?
Well, I went through the list of tells, right down to the toy dripping water in our chest. He was...impressed. I think.
man: But I wanted to try it out.
me: Okay. But you tried it out without me the day after it arrived. And then you tried it out with me that night. At some point, you are going to have to accept that now you are simply using it. You are well past trying.
He laughed. I made a valid point.
Later, he came over to me as I worked on the computer.
man: I have to complete my list. Let's pull out a porn and try some of the toys that we haven't tried yet.
I smiled. He had hooked up our new DVD player I surprised him with at Christmas. I was tired of us toting the BluRay around the house.
We started to get a little sexy together only he was so very sleepy that he couldn't even get it up. I didn't want to pressure him, so we simply spooned. And that's when it happened.
The movie was off. Regular television was on. He was playing with my nipples.
man: Do you like this or this better?
He was constantly honing his skills to my preferences. And I loved that.
I could feel him growing hard against my butt. I reached in between my legs so that he was nestled against my opening. Playing with myself, I shared the wetness with him. Soon, his breathing changed. He was pressing against me, moving inside me. His eyes were wide.
man: I didn't think I could tonight.
I smiled. I have my ways.
Soon he was licking and kissing and suckling. Soon I was riding him the way we both liked it. He had trouble concentrating on what he was doing with my boobs. And then, it happened.
man: You came. I love feeling you clench around me.
It was a good one. It was just what I needed to feel better about us. We are recovering nicely.