Monday, December 13, 2010

After the disappointment

We had a long talk.  The chick was still jerking us around Saturday morning.  By the time she finally decided against meeting up, I was completely over it.  All I was annoyed about was wasting time trying to hook up with her.  Endless emails.  Exchange of pictures.  Agreeing to the various terms.

It was too much.

And I was feeling this pressure.  I always feel like I'm disappointing him when things go wrong.  If there's anything I never want to do, it's disappoint him.

man: Let's hold off on that for a while.  I'm tired of all the Craigslist bullshit.

me: I thought you really wanted this.

man: We'll hold off on that for now.  Maybe in a little while we'll try The Estate.

And I was surprised.  We had talked about The Estate.  We had a lot of concerns.  I picture people running around naked.  I picture people having sex all over the place.  I picture aggressive men and women coming on to both of us.  And I imagine I will be really nervous, and clingy, and uncomfortable.  Maybe.

Or maybe I'll be the confident one, channeling that for both of us, helping us to navigate our way through the place.  Maybe he'll be shy and bashful.  Maybe my emotions will be in check and I will welcome these strangers making advances and the women touching and talking to my man.  I can be very surprising sometimes.  That's why he keeps me.

We had a long IM the other night with a man who had been to The Estate.  It really made us feel a lot more comfortable about the idea.  He confirmed that there would be areas of nudity.  And there will be areas where people are having sex.  At the same time we won't feel pressured.  And it should be a place where we can find a nice couple to play with in a less public place.

Yes, I may write about all our crazy sexcapades, but that doesn't mean I want loads of people watching us.  If I was into that, we'd be working a cam site to make some money.  And given our creativity and passion, we'd be making a pretty penny, too.


  1. Hi Lexi,
    We have a place called Twist out here in CA and the first time I went there with my GF I was anxiously nervous... my suggestion is to go to a place that is Couples only or Single women.. otherwise you get a lot of men standing around jerking off while they ogle you.... and an fyi... it's REALLY HOT doing it while other couples are doing it near you or other girls touching your woman while you're pleasing her... just stay away from the OPEN Free for alls.. we went to one and left after 10 minutes because it was full of fat old men jerking off and following us around.... NOT a turnon!

    I hope you get your Happy Holiday Soon!


  2. We'll see how long it takes us to work up the nerve. I think I'll be okay. It's him I worry more about. He's a true Alpha.