Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Time to reach into my bag of tricks and answer another question from The Book of Questions: Love and Sex. I like things that make me think. And this one really caught my eye.
Question 205: What is the most unpleasant sexual experience you can recall? In what ways do you think this experience has had a positive influence on your life? a negative influence?
I suppose I'm lucky. I don't really have a lot of negative sexual experiences. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I don't just sleep with anyone. I'm reasonably selective. There have been lots of guys that I could have slept with and didn't.
What I discovered early on was that the experiences I regretted were the ones that I didn't really intend to happen. It wasn't that I would consider these situations to be those akin to date rape. It's more like I was too shy to say 'no.' I was too worried about being liked to protest. And in those situations, the guys didn't really care if I was enjoying myself.
So, I learned to pick my partners better. I learned to be a better lover so that the men I was with were better lovers as well. I learned to speak up more. I learned to say 'no.' And now, with my man, I've become even more vocal. I've learned to share what I like and what I want. It makes a world of difference.
Okay, I fessed up. Now your turn.