Saturday, December 4, 2010

My fantasies

We've spent a lot of time lately talking about all of his fantasies.  I know that in a perfect world, he has me and another woman.  I know that in his ultimate fantasy we enjoy a wildly erotic threesome and then go home to have more sex just the two of us, while we take in what we just did.

Yeah.  I know a lot about what he wants from me and the other woman.  I know a lot about his dreams and expectations.  I know this because he shares.

Know what, though?

We don't talk about what I want.  He's never really asked.  And I guess I never thought about it before.

What do I want?  What are my fantasies?

And I guess I want something different.  My fantasies aren't sexual at the moment.  My fantasies are purely emotional.  In my fantasy, I'm enough.  He doesn't want anyone but me ever.  He lavishes me with kisses.  He holds me close, tenderly.  He is completely overcome with desire.  And then he makes mad, passionate love to me.

Weird, huh?

I'll tell you why this is my fantasy.  It's pretty simple.

We fuck all the time.  We have serious sex.  We play porns on the laptop and on the DVD player.  We try new toys.  We enjoy lots of positions.  And I like that.  I really do.  No, I mean, I REALLY DO.

It's just that once in a while, I would love for us to do it and for me to feel how much he loves and desires me.  Chances are, it's my fault.  I haven't asked for it.  I have allowed us to go at it like animals when sometimes I just want to be loved.

That's my fantasy.  And if I'm willing to go above and beyond to keep our relationship spicy, I think he should be willing to make my dreams come true, too.

I'll ask.  And I'll let you know.


  1. I'm sure you will find this aspect of your relationship once more if you talk to him.
    You already have a strong foundation to build upon.

  2. Thank you, Suze, for the encouragement. I think sometimes it's easy to forget to ask for what I want. I'm a giver. And I'm so busy seeing to his needs that I sometimes push aside my own. I know that has to stop. Something to work on, I suppose.