Now, mind you, I don't think I should ever BE in desperate when I'm in a loving committed relationship. I, personally, believe that as long as you are physically able, you should be able to fulfill each others needs, thereby making solo masturbation a thing of the past.
See, it's not that I think there is anything wrong with masturbating. I love it when I can convince him to masturbate in front of me...to start...or sometimes to finish. I love watching him get all aroused. I join in. I help. It's a team effort that I find very exciting.
And goodness knows he loves watching me touch myself. When I have my hand down there stimulating my clit while he is pumping into me, watching, he tells me how hot it is. Man, I love making that man hot. Umm hmmm.
So, here were are, during our drought, and I'm suffering. Alone. I've written about how the money stresses are impacting us. And I've written about how he broke his business during our very erotic constantly going at it spell. (Gawd I miss that! So very much.)
Now, I'm forced to do something that I really hate. Ummm. Okay, I don't hate it, I just prefer intimacy with him than by myself. You know?
I guess I figure it's the lesser of the evils. At least that's what he told me when I caught him masturbating to online porn behind my back. It was the catalyst started it all. All of this. The blog. The change in our lifestyle. Everything.
We'll make it through this. We weather everything. We stick no matter what. Oh, it gets good and bumpy sometimes. I have started packing on more than one occasion. Still, I stay because, ultimately, I love him and only him. I want to be with him. (And mostly only him-ish.) And we are amazing together. Most of the time.
So, I've asked him to heal by mid-week. I've asked him to get in the mood soon. Here's hoping he understands my needs and can dig deep to fulfill them because I want to fulfill all of his. Forever.
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